...

i have the bronch. and by that i mean i have bronchitis. today i went to urgent care (where the staff was freakin awesome) and i had to get a chest x-ray because they were worried i got tuberculosis while i was in uganda. but i didn't... just some bronchitis. so i had to take some medicine, and my mom said that it would keep me awake. and she was right. and now i'm laying in bed, weirdly hot, and thinking about stuff (but not very clearly).

i'm at the weirdest place i've ever been in my life right now. part of me loves it, and part of me is completely over it. i seriously have no idea what i'm going to do with my life. i definitely still have long-term goals for where i'd like to be in the next 10ish years, but as for the next months and years, i don't know. and i can't figure out what i even want to do. i don't know if i want to stay in colorado or move away. i really want to go to north carolina, but i don't know if i want to go now, or wait. and if i stay in colorado, i don't know if i want to stay up around ft. collins, or go back to denver, or go down to the springs or somewhere else. and the thing is, there's really nothing going on in any of those places that makes the decision any easier. i've always had some sort of idea of what i was going to do and was always working towards whatever it was... but right now i got nothin'. it's pretty ridiculous. prayers would be greatly appreciated... for direction, for faith, for a job.

i just finished reading the help. normally when books are on the best seller list and people tell me to read them, i avoid them for a few years until the hype has died down. because usually if i read them, i end up wondering what all the fuss was about because they are so hyped up. (harry potter is an exception to this. but i feel like that's a completely different type of thing... also it took me a looong time to get on that train.). but with this book, it was different. i actually really really liked it, and i understand why people have made such a big deal about it. i would recommend it. i don't know what i'm going to read next...

i want to go to a rockies game. i haven't gone to one yet, and that makes me sad. honestly, i haven't really been paying attention to how they're doing this year. meh.

this summer should be interesting. hopefully in a good way. i trust that it will be.

last summer i saw the backstreet boys in concert. it was epic. kevin wasn't there, but no one really cares about him anyway. here they are singing show me the meaning of being lonely. (followed by i want it that way)