Saturday, June 5, 2010

sicky pants

i'm sick. ewwwww. it's not terrible but it's not fun either.
but it's really okay... i was supposed to work tonight and i was stressing out because i didn't want to get the girls sick but i couldn't find anyone to cover for me but then i finally talked to tonya (the mom) and she said they had a change of plans anyway because the friend they were supposed to have dinner with has strep and couldn't do it anyway! praise God! not for her friend having strep obviously but for working it out so that i don't have to worry. He's so wonderful... always coming through.
i have to keep remembering that... seriously no matter how much He proves His goodness somehow i always manage to worry that for some reason He won't this time. i'm still waiting on my korea stuff, which i really should have sent in like a month ago. but, because of some unfortunate confusion and some ccu stuff, i still don't have my diploma or letter of completion, so i haven't sent it in yet. i'm worried that all the jobs will be taken by the time i actually get it. what if that happens? pretty much that means that i have to come up with a completely new plan... which sounds like the least appealing thing ever. but really, who am i to worry? hasn't God proven time and time again that He has everything in His hands? why would i think this would be any different? what if i'm really not meant to go to korea? isn't whatever God has planned for me a thousand times better than anything i could plan for myself? i know it is... i know He'll work it all out. i know that i shouldn't worry. but it's hard not to... i think that's only human. it's actually new for me though, because i'm really not usually a worrier. if i didn't have loans to pay off it would be no big deal... i would know that i could do anything really. but since i actually have to make money, it's hard to imagine what i will do with a global studies degree besides teach english... haha seriously it's a pretty worthless degree i think. i love it, but really what the heck am i supposed to do with that? God knows i guess.
wow i did not really plan at all on writing all of that... it's like word vomit but with my fingers.
i feel like it's really complainy (just go with that word...)
it's funny though because the last few days i have been thinking of all the random things that have seriously changed my life, even though they are stupid. but i'm really thankful for all of them!
here's that list:
-the new branch of my bank that opened seriously like 2 blocks from the other one... there are never any lines and parking is so easy! i love it!
-sunflower market. mmmmm.
-the redbox that just opened up at 7-11 half a block away
-gomusic
-sloan's lake
-my running shoes
honestly all of those things have changed my life for the better (even my running shoes! i know right?!)
i know that i have so much to be thankful for... i just need to keep remembering that. because God is good.
praise the Lord for that!

2 comments:

maren said...

you're exactly right... whatever He has planned for you is a gazillion times better than anything you could plan for yourself. :o) love you.

Melanie said...

i just love you kails, and your focusing on the blessings He dishes out.. truly blesses me.