o jeez

it is incredibly overwhelming and frustrating being a christian. today in the view from australia we talked about our last reading (and by reading, i mean skimming... hehe), which was about economics and consumer behavior. then we had a guest speaker come in and talk to us about consumer behavior in australia and around the world, as well as how to deal with finances as a christian. i feel like i've heard more about economics and justice and consumerism and everything that goes along with all that so much in the last year. i guess a big part of it has to do with the fact that i've just been learning so much more about the world in that time. one of the first things we talked about was this thing called "affluenza." apparently in australia, one of the richest nations in the world, there is this thing where people never feel like they have enough. now, i already knew that australians as a nation tend to feel like they have somehow been given the shaft in the world--like they are the little brother that everyone kinda just tolerates. but i didn't really realize how much that extends down to individuals, and how, although they put on this carefree front, most australians feel like they don't have enough. and i know it's obviously not just australians (seriously... america is the most consumer-driven nation ever. and i'm pretty sure the whole world wishes they could have more). but i guess it just opened my eyes to the fact that it is not just america. after that we talked about our role as christians in the world's economics. how much is too much? how much of what we have should we be giving away? is it wrong to spend money on yourself when you know that there is someone in the world who doesn't have enough to even survive? these are all questions that i've wrestled with over and over and over again. and to be perfectly honest, i don't know. but the speaker was actually incredible and he talked about "God's economics." he used examples of how God had the people set up societies in the Bible. one of the central and most important aspects was justice. He made sure that the poor were provided for (with the whole saving the edge of the crops thing.). He provided for the widows. He allowed for some shifting in the distribution of wealth, but He also made a time where all debt was forgiven and everything was given back. i wonder how the world got so far from this model of justice? how have we gotten to the point where we buy so much into what advertisers tell us that we forget about the rest of the world? i guess it just really made me think. do i want to sell all my possessions now and live on the streets? no... and i don't think that's what i'm meant to do. but i do think i need to be more aware, and to start taking the smaller steps that i can toward justice. i don't think anyone can ever really have it just right. but i definitely think there are things that, as Christians, we definitely can and should do to try and help the world.
this post really doesn't even come close to describing how i feel exactly, and it probably doesn't make much sense at all. but it's just me pouring out some of my thoughts from today...